Between forty and death

Ms R is not sure at what point the stonings will kick in when she walks down the street but it must be soon. The crime of course is being over forty, something that never used to be talked about but in a youth obsessed world it seems to generate a lot of soundbites. Magazines and newspapers are awash with interviews with celebrities (women of course, men don't age) claiming "I'm fine with turning 40" or "I've never felt better." Since when did having a birthday become an illness? And as for being cool about it, well Ms R wasn't aware there was a choice. It's going to happen and therefore it really shouldn't be an issue.

The message is clear: you are really not allowed to be comfortable or have any self-esteem about getting older, unless you are wearing a Burkha.  Especially if you haven't had cosmetic surgery to correct the failings of having a birthday every year. The fact that every celebrity (I use the word as a catch all noun) is pictured looking smooth and shiny has created expectations on the part of men that have nothing to do with real women. Unless you've had your cheeks puffed up with pig's testicles a la Trudi Styler , your breasts supplemented with Swiss Balls so they ooze over your dress in the manner of Liz Hurley or Victoria Beckham or your neck injected with baby seal fat you should really be dead. Women are now open targets to be set up and knocked down at will by a society that has lost its grip on reality.

Worse still, the insistence on both youth culture and cosmetic surgery has created an environment where it is utterly forbidden for women to be happy with themselves. And perhaps it is cultural: Ms R is not English and therefore perhaps demonstrates a confidence that is not prevalent amongst women here and appears to be frowned upon (let's not get into THAT discussion about why English men are boys here). But that is the way she was brought up by a Lebanese mother in Australia where if you are not confident at work and play, you get squashed. 

Ms R is pretty happy with who she is and ironically, more so physically than anything else. It is much harder to feel you have it nailed intellectually or emotionally.  Yes, it matters to her and that is a function of her upbringing. Her standards are her own (and her mother's). Looking your best for yourself and being confident with who you are is a duty to yourself, but pandering to the unrealistic expectations of others is plain foolish.