Apropos Ms R's recent comments on Valentine's Day being led by female demand, it seems that the interweb brings news of Steak and Blowjob Day. Forget it: Beer and Blowjobs is what men want. That's easy enough, isn't it?
No. Having thought about this a little more, Ms R realised it would not be simple. After all Valentine's Day is not simply about buying any old refrigerated roses or taking her to any old restaurant. It all has to be done in the right atmosphere. Imagine then the tales of Beer and Blowjob Day gone wrong as men gather with mates to commiserate afterwards. You think any blowjob is a welcome blowjob. Not any more.
"Honestly mate it was just tacky. I was expecting the whole bit, frilly bed linen, candles, soft teddy bear, heart shaped cushions and what did I get. She just grabbed me at the front door before I could even get inside and took my cock in her mouth. I felt dirty. I never want to go through that ever again."
"Next thing you know she'll do it while you're watching the rugby..."
"Oh mate, I can't even bear to think about it. Too awful."
"Yeah, last year she wrote me a poem and pinned pink paper hearts everywhere..and it really put me in the mood for a blow job. This year, she just pushed me up against the wall in an alleyway, blew me and then said, "Right now we'll go to the pub. Horrible"
"My partner was too busy this year. Or so she says. So she just got one of those Dial a Blowjob services to come round to work and do it. Trouble was the girl was doing six other guys as well."
"It's all got too commercialised. Used to be a blowjob meant something; you know, it was really special and you knew she really cared about you but now everyone's doing them it's not the same."
"I ask myself sometimes: Did she want to swallow? I mean she did it but she do it because it was the 21st? I just don't want her to if she's not feeling the same way as me. I really want it to be something we share."
Predictably there will a backlash against Beer and Blowjob Day as men refuse to take part on the grounds that it is simply mass exploitation. As one said, "When a woman goes down on her knees, I want to know I'm the one for her."
Friday, 27 February 2009
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25 comments:
Obviously you are thinking of some other form of blowjob than I am. To me they are all special. :-)
And any chance of changing the beer for a Bordeaux?
Then I'll subscribe to your suggestion, no holds barred.
Bordeaux and Blow Jobs..yeah, that sounds good. All special eh? So you remember everyone?
By all means do institute a day for men. I'll take the chance of it being disappointing.
In the meantime, I'll keep my fingers crossed for March 14th!
I remember every lady that has ever given me such wonderful attention, but, no, not every instance. I of course, also remember every lady that wouldn't. I am forever grateful that they are in the minority...
Ro: I didn't know about that one. Beer and Blowjob has a better um, ring to it...
Famulus: Selective memory is a good thing
I grant you that, Ms R, but I'm not really a beer-drinker. Bordeaux I could go for ...
The man can have the beer, or Bourdeaux, or whatever B he wants to drink.... I would prefer Bailey's myself.
But I have to say I am in for that one. Why should the girls get their day (which I disagree with as stated in previous post's comments) and not the men? I enjoy giving as much as the man enjoys receiving, so there you go.
Absolutely hilarious. Thank you.
Ms. R--a blow job is a blow job is a blow job but some are better than others; having had many in my time I can safely saw that beer has little to do with it-just enthusiasm on both parties part. And I also believe in reciprocity--oh my yesiree bob! indeed. How have you beeb ms R--haven't posted for a while and hope everything is good with you.
beau
Ponita: Baileys is good too. Personally if I'm in a very giving mood I like Bubbly and Blowjob..gives them an extra tingle.
Dominik: Thank you:)
Beau: Welcome, nice to hear from you again. Yes, I thought it might be funny though if men applied the same criteria to 'feeling special' which of course they don't because a blow job is a Blow Job
Smile Really funny..the thing is to all of us basic ceatures that all men are it seems so good even with the irony .
Really enjoyed it needless to say your blog is a different class.
Mennard
I'd pay to overhear a conversation like that. Chance of it happening outside of your lovely imagination? Nil. Better than a Little Britain sketch.
Mennard: Glad I could lighten the case load for a few moments sir:)
Mopsa: You'd pay! I'd pay to hear that conversation. I suspect somewhere in our touchy feely world there might be some New Men who only want it if the girl really wants to give it. One or two maybe.
Brilliant!
Baileys? MsR? I'd never have thought it.
Champagne? Yes
Fine wines? Yes
A good malt whisky? Yes
But Baileys?
Beware the combination of fellatio and fine champagne, Bubbly Blowjobs can be excruciatingly tingly!
"When a woman goes down on her knees, I want to know I'm the one for her."
Absolutely classic!
Oh Ms. R, only you could have written about this topic so brilliantly.
Conan: Thank you, I think it's one of my favourite funny posts too.
Freddy: No, I wouldn't do Baileys..too cloying. But I agree with you about the Bubbly trick.
Belle: Thank you muchly; I actually thought I'd have more readers on this one but it seems blow jobs are off the menu this week.
Ms R: I've read it several times, does that help?
As for the level of dedication required, I think that I hang around the area where I need to know that she is smiling as she heads on down.
More than that is a bonus and less means that there might not be a repeat performance...
funny funny.
"Next thing you know she'll do it while you're watching the rugby..."
It was footie, and, oh, how we laughed as he strained to catch a view of the telly.
You'd just have to hope it didn't escalate in the same way v day has. Once upon a time, a dozen red roses did the trick. Now nothing less than a grotto of red heart shaped balloons, something exquisite from Tiffany and dinnerat the Ivy will do. Beer and blow jobs in 2009 could only end up as absinthe and anal day by 2015.
Carnalis: God, it must have been his nightmare...footy and a blow job. Bet he felt dirty, really, dirty..
Melissaria: So funny! Anal and Absinthe Day..coffee and keyboard nearly connected. I think we should collaborate on something
LMAO. Very funny MsR! Echoing what Carnalis said, it is quite the treat to watch the two regions of his brain competing for superiority. Ruf would be in favour of both Anal and Absinthe and Beer and Blowjob Days. Sadly, being a vegan, steak would be out.
Cake: Broccoli and Blowjobs..nah, doesn't have the same cachet, does it?
I'd eat Broccoli if it got me a blow job... :-)
Actually I was thinking Vodka slimline and me giving prolonged head to a desirable lady.
JJ x
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