Here at Ms R Towers we are busy writing. One sort of writing, follows another sort of writing: this week alone so far there has been four different kinds of writing for various projects.
"Goodness Ms R, that must be a serious head fuck for you."
"Why thank you for your interest and concern. As a matter of fact it is."
"Why do you do it?"
"Hmm, because I am unable to tile bathrooms? Because I like using my core competencies (really)? Because maybe, just maybe, I am screwed up and I have chosen the most intellectually time consuming way to make not very much money."
Lest you are a new reader (yeah like there's any left out there who are not occupied) do not be concerned: Ms R is not talking about being screwed up in an "Omygodimgonnacutmyselfifyouleave" sense. No that is just common. What Ms R is talking about is being slightly unstable enough to be interesting; she has been thinking a lot about this lately and it occurs to her that you have to be slightly fucked up and confused to be a half-decent lay anyway. Why else would you abandon yourself to some of the filthy stuff men want you to do in - and out- of bed when in truth you want to luxuriate in 600 thread count sheets and be made love to slowly and passionately. Instead you do all this other stuff. No you have to be mad.
Some men know this: how many times have you heard a man say "She was a bit mad but a great fuck." The two go together. The slightly unstable woman is like the frog you put in boiling water. No matter how high the temperature gets it all seems fine to her. It's quite likely that whatever you suggest will be greeted with "Hmm, Ok". Break into the office at night and have me crawl the length of the hallway with my skirt up around my neck while the cleaner's at the other end?" Sure no problem. How can I make this even more interesting for you? This has everything to do with the fact that the sensibly screwed up woman (as she shall henceforth be known) is usually intelligent and smart. The smarter she is, the greater her self-awareness, the more crises she has, the more screwed up she is the the greater her need to be removed from herself. She will therefore be amenable to having her £30 stockings ripped to shreds. Next morning, in the cold light of day she will ask herself, "Was I really half-naked in the freezing cold in a laneway with a man going down on me? I must be screwed up. But in a good way."
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
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34 comments:
Hmm, what do the gang of four say about such shenanigans? Do they reckon it's high or low on the self esteem monitor?
Conan: I am not talking about my current self, You will be pleased to know I have far too much writing and the next few months will pass in a blur of keyboard generated activity. But I'd say it's low on the self-esteem monitor generally or cab be high if you're high...but that's about it.
Em, that was 'can' not 'cab'. And I will add that I think it's totally different if you are doing all these things with one person with whom you have a relationship. But more than low self-esteem, I think it's just transference.
You speak the truth, darlin.
alas i don't think there is a male equivalent although you can always be guaranteed great sex in a new relationship
though it's a fine line between great-sex nutter and dead-bunny-in-the-bath nutter.
not that i am ever suggesting that you would ever put a dead bunny in the bath, or anywhere else for that matter
spade..hole
We're Doomed: Thought I might but worth asking the people
Mei Del: Not so sure about new ones. Usually bad boy sex is good.
Ruminator: I think we know I am not that kind of person. Now get your coat...
my receipts for stockings are shockingly high.
Ms R appears to have crawled into my head. Worrying indeed. I still insist there is 'good' crazy and 'bad' crazy. MsR is only highlighting the former.
Bendy Girl
Spot on, Ms R, I think.
A full-frontal lobotomy is in order, I think, for everyone. Then we can all stop worrying, get a job in marketing and marry the next man who buys us a glass of Chardonnay in All Bar One on a Thursday night. Woo!
(P.S. Are you around for coffee on Monday morning? I know you're snowed under, but I'm down from Manchester, and could swing by your neck of the woods for an hour before going off to catch my train?)
Carnalis: *sigh* Hasn't happened to Ms R in a while...
BFS: Yes the other kind of crazy is the one that stalks your lover. You don't want that kind. This is 'what the fuck, I think too much' crazy.
Leonie....Yes, Monday is good. Love to. Even 2 hours. x
"in truth you want to luxuriate in 600 thread count sheets and be made love to slowly and passionately"
Is it possible to be slow AND passionate? Just a thought, and it is pretty much academic to this thinker, though he can definitely relate in a non-academic way to the fine bed linen.
Old and Past it: Well it is and isn't. I would imagine I was thinking of something that probably began in a frenzy where you couldn't get the key in the door fast enough and then paced itself a bit later on said crisp bed linen
Hey, me too! A touch unstable but not in a care-in-the-community, mad-stalker sort of way, up for most things sexually - and I always used to think this was a point in my favour as far as men were concerned.
Sadly, and this is just my experience, I've come to believe that most men prefer the sickeningly sane, smily, sensible vanilla wholesomeness of Cameron Diaz in There's Something About Mary. A character who'd recoil from anything harder and nastier than doggy style - and would probably have major misgivings about that.
To be perfectly nasty and brutal about it, they may wank about Betty Blue - but Something About Mary's the one they ask out.
Shame really :-(
J x
Naked on the balcony overlooking the town. Then, you said it, "crisp bed linen". The Ritz in Barcelona, never to be forgotten on a hot summer's night.
Juliette: Your penultimate line was brilliant. And so true. Most guys talk about wanting excitement but will then say something like "Oh you're so confident."
ghinch: Yummy, that sounds nice.
Better to be bad, as in 'so good, she's bad' than boring. The average man may marry the woman who thinks that 'doggy style' is really for dogs but ultimately the great guys hold out for a girl who knows how to give a decent blow job. Who wants an average guy anyway?
£30 stockings? Good heavens. Don't they have a Primark or Matalan out your way?
You'll be telling me you spend more than a tenner on a handbag next.
At the end of the day we all wind up in the morning with pubic hair stuck between our teeth wondering why.
Suzanne: Well, I'm sure there is a happy medium
Luka: No, I will eat lentils for weeks just so I can have them
Tintin: Funny. I think that will ahem go down as a vintage comment.
You've neglected the quiet ones. Now THEY are the ones to look out for. They might fit your "mad" criteria though. x
Egocentric: Hello from me. I have not neglected them..indeed the really mad ones are usually quiet as in they're (we??) are not to be found disporting ourselves in a manner I believe is known as 'binge drinking' or rubbing our breasts into men at parties in desperation. Usually there is a just a smile and knowing look from a woman who is probably well dressed and observing things.
Sensibly screwed up woman, hmmm SSUW or should that be WUSS (woman up screwed sensibly?)
Always a pleasure, treasure, Ms. R.
Ad: Thank you and the pleasure is mine:)
I think Elvis (Costello) got there before us - Spooky Girlfriend
http://tinyurl.com/6ox58g
Ruminator: Spooky is not mad no? But well spotted re the song.
A couple of weeks ago, I had dinner with a new friend, and she decided to tell me that she had had a lot of bad luck with threesomes lately, and the wine we were drinking was starting to intefere with her anti psychosis medication. Do you think she fancies me?
Don't let Luka's mock shock get you down. If £30 stockings do it for you, then go for it girl!
Keep up the blogging - although reading it when I get to work, before I shower and change, can be uncomfortable, in a pleasant way (think taut cycling attire and the typical subject matter in play).
Gordie: Exactly what bad luck was she having with threesomes..what was the nature of it? I am curious. the only bad luck I can see is having another girl instead of a guy. Yes, she fancies you, big time.
Red-blooded anon: Have we met on another blog discussing suspenders? If so, welcome. Ms R tries to blog a few times a week but lately is busy so if you like, read the best bits as suggested in the sidebar..they will make you hot and bothered.x
Ha ha! You've seen right through me!
We might have met courtesy of a certain Mr Taggit, and yes, I am a connoisseur of the aforementioned items of apparel.
Have already perused a selection of the best posts (and come across the CARNALIS blog in the process - there is something curiously appealing about the seemingly random juxtapositions of culinary and erotic).
Must get on with something productive before I get fired :-(
Red-blooded anon: I had lunch with Fin last week. A delightful man, unlike one or two of his commenters but it's fun shredding them to bits. Glad you are enjoying the blog but shouldn't you be adding value to our economy. I, on the other hand, am being taken out to lunch.
I very much like "I have chosen the most intellectually time consuming way to make not very much money".
I haven't tried the man woman man variant, but it's something I'd like to be good at. I think she was quite happy doing woman man woman; her bad luck was to do with how they decomposed into a couple + her alone. So maybe she wants a man to shepherd her.
Salvadore: Well it's true. And that is why I must be screwed up:)
Gordie: I think MMF is the only way to go but hey maybe I'm old fashioned...
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