Seriously, you're having a fucking laugh

Here at the Dictatorship we apologise for the lack of blogging but, like the little people, we've been enjoying the May ( thank you Helga for reminding me) sunshine. Unfortunately the unseasonally warm weather seems to have coincided with the wholesale removal of full-length mirrors from houses across the land. How else to explain grown men in three quarter length shorts and baseball caps, seemingly borrowed from their teenage sons? Along with the first grey bra straps of summer this has got your beloved dictator considering taking up waterboarding in a more chic locale. Oppressing attractive people has got to be more satisfying, surely?


When not admiring her own tanned olive skin and unfailing sense of style, Ms Robinson has been amusing herself reading about celebrities who want 'to be taken seriously.' This pathetic lament is usually to be found coming out of the mouths of actors following either a prolonged bout with the marching powder or a run of box office stinkers. Or just because they can. They're all at it and you know who I mean: Aston Kutcher is the latest one to give the mandatory 'thoughtful' interview. Frankly he's just so earnest about his approach to life with Demi it makes you feel shallow, not to mention just a teeny bit worried that in a couple of years he'll wake up and go looking for his lost youth.

Call Ms R a spoilsport but she reckons that if you're paid monumental amounts of money to PRETEND to be someone else on screen then it's a fair clue that people don't really want to know about your desire to be taken seriously. Really, we don't. In effect there is only so much seriosity (TM) to go round and once you get actors and people who strum guitars trying to get some, it upsets the natural order of things. No, a civilised society depends on everything in its place. And when the non serious want to go serious, it fucks it up for everyone else. There is more than enough seriosity (TM) in the world; in other words truly thoughtful and clever people and we don't need people pretending to be serious.

Should you be in any doubt about the dangers of those who want to be taken seriously, I will say only one word: Bono. The very symbol of where pretensions to seriosity (TM) may eventually lead. As much as Ms R tries to remember he was the guy that sang Gloria all those years ago, whenever she looks at him or hears his name all she can think now is "Yeah Red Amex cards, that'll fix the Third World and if all else fails we can build huts out of them." Ms R doesn't want to hear George Clooney go on about Darfur, sorry but she doesn't. She doesn't want to hear Gwyneth whine about the work/life balance and how motherhood is very precious. She just wants them to shut the fuck up.