Ms Robinson is not surprised that her bid for dictatorship has enchanted and warmed the hearts of many of her readers. She is especially pleased that so many of you want to turn your backs on the vicissitudes and sham concerns of democracy and join her. However, she wishes to caution that, before you apply for jobs in her administration, you need to determine whether dictatorship is for you. To be sure, lack of any ethics or morals whatsoever are a good start but do you have what it takes. Take this quiz. In fact, take it now.
When relaxing at home I
1.Cook nourishing meals for my family
2.Think about how to make the world a happier place
3.Plan a campaign of terror
I think I look best in
1.Evening wear
2.The nude
3.A uniform with epaulettes on the shoulders
Complete the following: Work...
1.Is a place I go to surf the internet
2.Is overrated
3.Is what I do for the love and gratitude of my Most Supreme Leader
If someone questions your views you
1.Try to see their side of things
2.Sulk
2.Have them executed
Should I unexpectedly chance upon my Beloved Leader I greet her with
1.A casual nod
2.A kiss
3.A salute before prostrating myself at her feet
Societies thrive when there is
1.Cooperation
2.Cakes and marshmallows for all
3.Hard labour for all
When out at dinner you
1.Never order lamb. It's always too fatty.
2.Ask people what they are having
3.Order for everyone, saying "They'll have what I'm having."
When you walk into a party, you
1.Head straight for the most interesting crowed
2.Head straight for the all you can eat buffet
3.Round up everyone you don't like and have them exiled
It is permissible to call the Supreme Leader a gorgeous, delicious, filthy slut when
1.She is issuing decrees
2.She is addressing a rally
3.This is one time she doesn't get to choose
Thursday, 24 January 2008
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24 comments:
A quick question: Can one be nude but also have epaulettes stuck on with tape?
before i became all loved up with the darling and i was spitting bile after the split with sad betrayer of marriage vows i might have made an ideal candidate - i planned campaigns of terror and execution on a minutely basis, they were what occupied my days and nights and woe betided all who attempted to raise objections. I still order for everyone at restaurants but i guess that's not enough..
I score highly- can I have police powers? I've always wanted those.
Are you SURE epaulettes has two T's?
I just think I'd enjoy working for a woman who speaks in the third person all the time.
XO
All of them - generally in the order stated. Having the opportunity to have someone executed after trying to see their side of things, and then sulking because I can't/won't/don't want to sounds far more interesting than simply 'agreeing to disagree'.
My only planned terror campaign, involving my highly allergic ex-boyfriend, all his pillows and cushions and some cat hairs never happened; splitting up tends to sap one of the energy required to carry out such evil plans. If I am ever a dictator, I will definitely appoint a ruthless deputy to carry out my evil deeds in such times of need.
Im clearly just too wimpy! You'll just have to scrape my crushed body off your stiletto...
fuckwits eliminated = happy thoughts
Vote for MsR!
Oh dear. I always order the lamb. In evening wear. But I'm also exceptionally adept at planning campaigns of terror. You decide.
Madame El Presidente is currently hungover, having had a rather unexpected wild night which was the kind of fun a hard working dictator needs.. She will return to her comments after a hot beverage.
Excellency, does anybody need to be rendered 'incommunicado' after your night of successful sluttage?
Incidentally, on formal dress occasions may I be permitted a sash rather than the epaulettes?
Greavsie: I will be supervising the clothing choices of my male administrators personally.
Mei Del: Latent dictatorship instincts are good enough. We need everyone we can get.
Misssy M: Your creativity makes you ideal for such a job. You are now Her Excellency, Chief of Police. Please begin rounding them up.
Jim: I have to find a role for you..but adoration gets you far.
Melissaria: Some say revenge is best served cold but we will serve it hot. You are up to it: I know you are.
Cake: One of my minions will scrape it.
Bittersweet: It makes me happier than it makes you and that is the joy and delight of this job.
Moi: You already have the Fashion Crimes portfolio. Expand it as you wish. You have my kind permission.
Conan: Her Excellency was at a club doing research for a book. Men were told not to approach her but they did. She was given drinks by her admirers and eventually decided to take one and use him. No need to render him incommunicado: Ms R has done what she needed to and needs him no longer. It was not her most supreme sluttage but it was pretty good.
Conan: You may wear a sash as befits the man who organises my parades. In fact I feel one coming on. What shall we call it?
Hmm, the Parade of Loyalty?
ps emailed you on a technical matter you may wish to look into.
I filled in the quiz but I left it on the equipment bench in the interrogation room and it is now somewhat soiled. I'm confident, however,that the results would have confirmed that my postion here is the right one for my talents and proclivities.
My gloves are also ruined, but the good news is the epaulettes are holding up just fine.
I'm sorry, Ms R, but I have already bagsied the dictator job.
However, I have taken the Benign Dictator position: you may have the "Bad Cop" dictator position though...
DK
Male adminstrator: A good choice your munificence....
Conan: Parade of Loyalty and Devotion I think. Yes. Go ahead.
Luka: 'interrogation'...surely you mean the 'interview room'
DK: I am sad we had to come to this DK. Ms R has always room for young, posh men in her life and was prepared to negotiate a suitable position for DK. Remember historically women are regarded as the more ruthless and even enamoured of a man have been known to torture them. However I suspect that somehow I will not have to torture you for information as you will give it freely...
What about something in the kitchen? I know that Madame Dictator is unsurpassed in this arena, but I would be very happy to toil as her thankless minion in this way.
I think it's why aprons have no backs, anyway.
"Sauce Boy . . . I need you."
XO
I would enjoy being your Minister for Torture...I would enjoy tasering people who do not immediately lick your boots.
Jim: Full chef dress at all times. You are right that Ms R is highly competent in the kitchen and therefore would only offer the position of Sous Chef.
EmmaK: Come on Emma, you just want to wear the hot PVC outfit. And damn good it would look on you.
MissR,
That entirely depends on your definition of torture. I might be willing to submit, depending on your technique...
DK
Mr.DK,
Miss R is always ready to negotiate, initially anyway. The prospect of those old Etonian tones are worth it. Miss R is also confident enough in her technique to suggest that a fellow dictator might find it interesting.
Does the supreme leader need a bodyguard to provide close protection?
If so are they still allowed to call her a gorgeous, delicious, flithy slut?
Midnight: You mean as in "Oh shit there's the grassy knoll: Get down now you gorgeous, filthy, delicious slut?"
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